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euphoria

Cre­at­ed: 1650067200 (2022-04-16T00:00:00Z), Up­dat­ed: 1667076271 (2022-10-29T20:44:31Z), 4222 words, ~18 min­utes

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Orig­i­nal­ly pub­lished on vndb

I reg­is­tered an ac­count here just to post this re­view. This game was a re­al roller-coast­er for me, ping-pong­ing be­tween this is a com­plete garbage and this is a fuck­ing good game. Un­for­tu­nate­ly, I think it's im­pos­si­ble to write a re­view of eu­pho­ria with­out spoil­ers, I tried to keep them to a min­i­mum, but the re­al­i­ty is that just men­tion­ing that cer­tain things ex­ist is al­ready a spoil­er, so be care­ful.

You're play­ing a guy named Keisuke, who wakes up in a white room, hav­ing no mem­o­ry of how he end­ed up there, and there's a door in front of him. It short­ly un­locks, then you can choose whether Keisuke should go through it or stay in his cur­rent room. Choose the lat­ter, and soon poi­so­nous gas will be re­leased, killing him. Con­grat­u­la­tions, you just made the on­ly sane choice in the whole game, I hope you en­joyed all 5 min­utes of your game­play. Oth­er­wise, he'll be forced to par­tic­i­pate (and you'll be forced to watch) in that game where he has to dick the hero­ines to earn their free­dom from all those white rooms (but hey, at least they didn't have to work too hard to draw all those dif­fer­ent en­vi­ron­ments the game takes place in!)

To set the scene, here is a video from pret­ty ear­ly in the game:

So now that you know what to ex­pect from the game, let's start with the H-scenes. The game is in­fa­mous for hav­ing a lot of dis­turb­ing and bru­tal scenes, but what's in ac­tu­al­ly? Well, there are the bad scenes. You have about 7 scat scenes in the game, you can skip two if you don't care about get­ting all end­ings, but you have to watch the rest if you want to get the true end­ing (and you want that). The prob­lem is, it ac­tu­al­ly doesn't work that way, it's like when some wannabe edgelord tries so hard, that it ac­tu­al­ly over­flows and you end up with a big noth­ing. It's just too sur­re­al, your brain switch­es off and just tells you, "yeah, it's shit, then what?" Yes, they can make you feel bad, but to do that you have to know­ing­ly co­op­er­ate, be­cause oth­er­wise it's just some ram­bling a schizo wrote on some anony­mous im­age­board, you don't have to give a fly­ing fuck about it.
Now, there are some good scenes, too. Rinne and Ri­ka has a few good scenes, Kanae al­so has one or two, but that's about it. Ne­mu is so fuck­ing an­noy­ing, that even if you have a 10/10 scene, if you just add her in the back­ground with­out her do­ing any­thing, you al­ready botched the scene down to 2/10. If she does any­thing, then its neg­a­tive in­fin­i­ty (and be­yond). What's the rest? Light BDSM or bor­der­line vanil­la. Come on man, this was sup­posed to be a dis­gust­ing bru­tal VN, not some vanil­la hand-hold­ing, love the world and don't hurt any­one kind of game. If I say this is a tame game, I al­ready overex­ag­ger­at­ed it. Add to this that H-scenes are over­ly long in my opin­ion, you'll find too much filler in them, and some­times you'll lit­er­al­ly have noth­ing but moans for like 5 screens or more (and you can al­so lis­ten to the ear­rap­ing voice act­ing if you didn't turn off the au­dio). H-scenes are eas­i­ly the worst part of the game, which doesn't bode well when you have an eroge that sup­pos­ed­ly be about how far your MC can go in sex­u­al de­vi­a­tions.

Then you have gore, but apart from one scene that al­most made me sick (but prob­a­bly not for the rea­son you think), is even tamer than the sex parts, and they're all pret­ty brief, some gore scenes are lit­er­al­ly on­ly shown for you a sec­ond, they're au­to­mat­i­cal­ly ad­vanced with­out user in­ter­ac­tion, and you have to go to the CG gallery if you want to ac­tu­al­ly take a good look at them. (Not that there's much to look at.)
Now, about that scene that made me sick, there's a point in one route, where Keisuke has to cut up the stom­ach of one of the girls. Fi­nal­ly, the game is go­ing to de­scribe all the grue­some de­tails of how he takes the scalpel, opens the stom­ach, blood every­where, feel­ing the slimy tex­ture of the warm in­testines, the heart in his hand while it's still beat­ing, check the ovaries, maybe there's an egg that he fer­til­ized a few days be­fore, how does it feel to abort his own child, and the likes. Well, that was my ex­pec­ta­tion, the re­al­i­ty?

………
……


Graph­i­cal­ly just a black screen, then at the end a pic­ture of the said girl with a blan­ket on top of her, slight­ly cov­ered in blood. Re­al­ly? That's what you call dis­gust­ing? You couldn't in­clude more ex­plic­it de­scrip­tion while still keep­ing the 13+ rat­ing, or what the fuck is your fuck­ing prob­lem?! Lit­er­al­ly shit­ting in some­one else's mouth and hav­ing her eat it is al­right, but at the slight­est sign of some blood, you run and cling to your moth­er's skirt? Even GTA 3 has more gore than this, when you pop their head, and they fuck around for a while you have a blood foun­tain com­ing from their neck. Why, why, WHY!?! This is how it should have look like, not a black screen, for fuck's sake: Wat is guroJXL (JPEG JXL) JPEG (orig) (source) (I mean, I should have fore­seen this, af­ter you see the flash­back... or flash­for­ward, or vi­sion, or what should you call it, in the CG gallery you'll have 2/8, and at the be­gin­ning of the scene there were 3 im­ages of that girl look­ing dif­fer­ent­ly at he, and con­sid­er­ing that scat and gore im­ages come in pairs, I should have known that I won't see much gore. Did I men­tion that I love in­ter­face spoil­ers?)

On­to the sto­ry. Keisuke is an un­lock­er who has to un­lock the key­holes, but it's just a eu­phemism for vi­o­lat­ing them. You have 5 turns, 5 girls, that's 5^5=3125 pos­si­ble choic­es, ex­cept you on­ly have 5 re­al routes. You have to choose the same girl every time, oth­er­wise you'll end up on a gener­ic route, which means that the game turns in­to a nukige, and you'll get a very short gener­ic end­ing (which, to be hon­est, doesn't look too bad, un­til you see the oth­ers). And with this we al­ready at my first gripe, the ear­ly branch­ing plot. Ba­si­cal­ly the mo­ment you se­lect the first girl (and it's very ear­ly in the game), you se­lect­ed your route. Of course, they didn't write 5 dif­fer­ent VNs and pack­aged them in­to one, so there will be a lot of shared seg­ments be­tween the routes. Here you have two op­tions, and nei­ther is too good: you ei­ther re-read all those wall of texts you al­ready read, or you skip over them (for­tu­nate­ly the game has read text mark­ing, so you can do that eas­i­ly), but then you'll end up in the mid­dle of a scene, and you will be as con­fused as Keisuke when he first woke up in the white room. It doesn't help when in the mid­dle of a long scene there's lit­er­al­ly a sin­gle line that's dif­fer­ent be­tween routes (yes, you re­al­ly had to change that one line, it'll make the mood com­plete­ly dif­fer­ent, right?). And it's al­so easy to get lost what in­fo was men­tioned in the com­mon part, and what on­ly in a spe­cif­ic route you played be­fore, and I've had mul­ti­ple in­stances when I start­ed won­der­ing, "should Keisuke know X at this point of the sto­ry?" And the sto­ry can get pret­ty hairy in this game.

No mat­ter which route you're on (ex­cept the gener­ic route), the un­lock­ing game takes the fol­low­ing gen­er­al struc­ture: 2 turns, bonus game, night, 2 turns, bonus game, night in the VIP room, one turn. You have two turns to tor­ment the girls, then comes the bonus game, which is much lighter, al­most vanil­la, and the roles are re­served. This would cre­ate a pleas­ant rhythm, Keisuke is a cru­el beast for two turns, then the bonus round to calm down and heal your (and Keisuke's) heart, then re­peat—or at least I think this was the in­ten­tion. As I al­ready men­tioned, even the sup­posed to be cru­el turns are most­ly tame, so what you re­al­ly have is two slight­ly less tame turns, then a bit more tame turn, and re­peat.
Let me talk about the char­ac­ter you're play­ing, Keisuke. From the out­side he's a kind per­son who cares deeply about his child­hood friend, but in the in­side he's a sadist beast who wants to see every­one suf­fer, which he tries his best to hide. Well, it's in the de­scrip­tion of the game, this is what he's sup­posed to look like, but based on his in-game ac­tions, I can hard­ly be­lieve this. I mean, he's con­stant­ly whin­ing about how cru­el this game is, how he wants to go back to his own nor­mal life, how he wants to save and pro­tect every­one. De­spite how he en­joyed the class­rep's ex­e­cu­tion and vi­o­lat­ing of the oth­er hero­ines, he doesn't want any of this to hap­pen. He nev­er ini­ti­ates in the whole game (okay, maybe he does in one spe­cif­ic, half-joke end­ing, but that's all), when some­one doesn't force him to be cru­el, he'll be the most timid per­son you ever met. Yes, he some­times thinks about how he wants to vi­o­late X, but un­til the game ac­tu­al­ly forces him to vi­o­late X, he won't do a sin­gle thing. It's like ask­ing some­one to do some­thing they re­al­ly love, and the an­swer is, "must I re­al­ly do?" I just don't know what to do with this man. Okay, he doesn't want to hurt in­no­cent peo­ple, but con­sen­su­al BDSM is a thing, and there are char­ac­ters in the game who would be hap­py to par­take in it, even if maybe in a slight­ly toned down ver­sion. He just does this so Kanae won't fig­ure out his se­cret. Kanae, who's por­trayed as a child­hood friend, who would even love he if she'd fig­ure out that he is a pe­dophile nazi can­ni­bal and con­vict­ed se­r­i­al killer who al­so stole 12 mil­lion dol­lars from funds meant to help starv­ing chil­dren in Africa. It just doesn't add up. (I mean, I have a the­o­ry based on the true end­ing, but that would re­quire me dump­ing 5 met­ric fuck­tons of spoil­ers here, so I won't do it.)

One last triv­ia (and a slight spoil­er), be­fore I move on to the oth­er hero­ines and their routes. You com­plet­ed the 5 turns, un­locked the ex­it, it's the end of the game? Wrong, you're to­tal­ly wrong. It's just the be­gin­ning, there comes the sec­ond part of the game. If you thought the sit­u­a­tion is bad, just wait and see what's com­ing at you. This was just a warmup. Sex takes a back seat (which is ac­tu­al­ly a fa­vor­able con­di­tion, giv­en how bad the H-scenes are in this game), the psy­cho­log­i­cal hor­ror part takes prece­dence, and the mys­tery parts get cranked up to lev­el eleven. This is where the game starts play­ing with you.

The char­ac­ters: here I'll go through the 5 hero­ines and their routes. Ob­vi­ous­ly even more spoil­ers ahead, if you don't want to read them, I'll just leave you a small note: leave Ne­mu and Kanae last, and don't do what I did (do­ing Ne­mu first).

Teacher: a kind and car­ing per­son who wants to save every­one, she wants to cheer up trou­bled peo­ple, when there's some ten­sion be­tween the char­ac­ters, she wants to solve it peace­ful­ly, and she looks at Keisuke as a vic­tim, not as a preda­tor. Well, once you get over the fact your MC is fuck­ing his own fuck­ing teacher, this is prob­a­bly the tamest route in the game (the most "bru­tal" scene here is fuck­ing the teacher while she's men­stru­at­ing), and al­so prob­a­bly the most use­less. I think this is al­so the short­est one, and oth­er than giv­ing some vague hints about the oth­er routes (and an end­ing, that's in­de­ci­pher­able with­out see­ing an­oth­er one), there's not much in it. (She plays a more im­por­tant rule in some oth­er routers, but her own route is rather in­signif­i­cant.) Un­less you like MILFs or you want to 100% the game, you can safe­ly skip her route, you won't lose much.

Ri­ka: your stock spoiled child char­ac­ter. She thinks that she can earn any­thing by just be­ing cute, and it most­ly works for her in the game... ex­cept here. When the ques­tion is to sub­mit or die, Keisuke doesn't take no as an an­swer. And what­ev­er fol­lows, it's just plain beau­ti­ful. In the first turn, her limbs are bound to the bot­tom of a con­tain­er, which is filled with wa­ter, so she can bare­ly breathe, and Keisuke goes to take her vir­gin­i­ty in this state. It's just per­fect, as she tries to cry for help, but she can on­ly re­al­ly bab­ble, now mat­ter how much she cries or writhe, it doesn't change any­thing. There's even a point where Keisuke push­es her head back in­to the wa­ter, which pret­ty much makes her shut the fuck up. This is how a sadist char­ac­ter treats the oth­er, not the end­less pon­der­ing over how bad his ac­tions were and how he doesn't want to hurt any­one and sim­i­lar non­sense, that you have in the oth­er routes. The oth­er hero­ines in this game are ei­ther fuck­ing masochists or they try very hard to put up a "noth­ing hap­pened" face, hid­ing what­ev­er they feel. An ex­treme ver­sion of 仕方がない (it can't be helped), I think. But Ri­ka is not. She's hap­py to voice her dis­con­tent, how she hates Keisuke, and to put a crown on her own ar­ro­gance, how should Keisuke choose any­one but her. Break­ing a char­ac­ter like her is the best thing since sliced bread, her cries and plead for help is mu­sic to my ears... And (ex­pect that one spe­cif­ic end­ing), this is the on­ly place where Keisuke re­al­ly shows his cru­el side. It's telling that he's on­ly cru­el to the sin­gle char­ac­ter who's ob­vi­ous­ly too weak to put up any kind of re­sis­tance. Fi­nal­ly, a char­ac­ter I can re­late to. Un­for­tu­nate­ly, while this route has a great start, the game can't re­al­ly keep it up. She has a huge char­ac­ter de­vel­op­ment in the sec­ond part of the game, but 1) it's so great that you can hard­ly be­lieve it, se­vere­ly dam­ag­ing the will­ing sus­pen­sion of dis­be­lief, and 2) com­plete­ly ab­sent from the oth­er routes, mak­ing it com­plete­ly use­less. Sim­i­lar to the teacher's route, what­ev­er hap­pens in this route doesn't re­al­ly af­fect the grand scheme of things oth­er than fore­shad­ow­ing a few de­tails, so you can al­so skip this too with­out los­ing much.

Rinne: this is where things get in­ter­est­ing. At first, she's a qui­et and re­served girl, but you'll soon re­al­ize that Ke­siuke is a com­plete­ly nor­mal hu­man be­ing com­pared to this... thing? She says weird things, she has weird hal­lu­ci­na­tions, she some­why thinks that she de­served the pun­ish­ment she re­ceives (with an al­most re­li­gious zeal). This is the route where you're go­ing to see the re­al dark side of the game, where she begs for cru­el treat­ment (her last three turns are re­al­ly good here), and of course Keisuke would be stu­pid to not com­ply (he whines here and there, but I stopped car­ing about his snowflake feel­ing by the time I got here). Then comes the sec­ond part. Oh, well. First thing, the sec­ond part of Rinne's route were writ­ten by a dif­fer­ent au­thor than the rest of the game. You'll like­ly no­tice the dif­fer­ence in the nar­ra­tion, I can't re­al­ly tell you ex­act­ly why, but I some­how felt Izu­mi's writ­ing style more ap­proach­able, a bit more re­lat­able, de­spite the sto­ry go­ing bat­shit crazy. If you've played any oth­er route be­fore, you'll have an idea of what is go­ing to hap­pen in this route, but no, it's ac­tu­al­ly much worse. The un­lock­ing games looks like a nor­mal Sun­day ac­tiv­i­ty com­pared to this. It turns out Rinne is the in­sane leader of a sex-crazy re­li­gious cult ob­sessed about self-harm, and you can prob­a­bly fig­ure out the rest. I lost count of how many times I told my­self, "run, For­est... er, I, mean, Keisuke, run while you can, away from this crazy woman!" Un­like the pre­vi­ous two girls, she has ac­tu­al­ly two end­ings (if we don't count game over-like bad ends). This is al­so a "what if" route, but this time at least you'll learn a lot about Rinne and her back­ground, and with­out that un­der­stand­ing parts of the true end would be dif­fi­cult, so I don't rec­om­mend skip­ping her route. Even know­ing that play­ing her route might turn you in­sane.

Ne­mu: well, we're fi­nal­ly here. The per­fect girl, com­plete­ly out of Keisuke's league, so he bare­ly knows any­thing about her. Yet she some­how seems to know a lot about him. She quick­ly fig­ures out his se­cret, and use that to black­mail him. So what we have in her route? First, it will feel like the writer tried to write the most in­suf­fer­able char­ac­ter pos­si­ble, the most an­noy­ing brat that you'd want to kill at the first pos­si­bil­i­ty. She man­ages to beat Keisuke in­to sub­mis­sion in no time, she's in con­trol the whole time, the on­ly re­sis­tance Keisuke man­ages to muster out is re­peat­ing "no" in his head. And pon­der­ing about how he wants to beat Ne­mu in­to sub­mis­sion, but he's too much of a be­ta to ac­tu­al­ly do any­thing. And Ne­mu just con­stant­ly laughs in his face, clear­ly en­joy­ing the whole sit­u­a­tion. From the out­side it looks like Keisuke tor­ments Ne­mu, but in re­al­i­ty it's the re­verse. I re­al­ly don't know how did I man­age to com­plete her route with­out stab­bing my mon­i­tor with some sharp tool. She's that fuck­ing an­noy­ing. Any­way, back to Keisuke, he didn't to any­thing, even when he had the chance (like the night in the VIP room). I re­al­ly ex­pect­ed a "can I hurt you, Mis­tress?" line from him on this route. Af­ter the game spent some time about build­ing up the most neg­a­tive im­age pos­si­ble about Ne­mu, and how out MC hates her and have night­mares about her and what­ev­er, comes a sec­tion where he could get her killed with­out bat­ting an eye. He even ex­plic­it­ly men­tions that there are no fuck­ing rea­son to save her. And what hap­pens? Of course, he saves her in the last sec­ond, hurt­ing him­self in the process. (Now, there's a fuck­ing good rea­son for this, that you're on­ly go­ing to find out much lat­er, but it still doesn't jus­ti­fy Keisuke's ac­tions).
Then comes the sec­ond part of her route. Just as in Rinne's case, every­thing ends up be­ing ex­ag­ger­at­ed, the world is up­side-down, she ends up as an evil tyrant that al­lows her fol­low­ers to rape what­ev­er women they want, and you'll read for hours hor­ri­ble of a per­son she is (if you played oth­er routes first, you al­ready know most of this though) and how good is to be her play­thing (be­cause Keisuke bare­ly does any­thing here, he's just go­ing with the crowd like he al­ways did). The game tries to por­trait him and Kanae as the on­ly two sane peo­ple re­main­ing in this world. Any­way, the good thing about her route is that you're go­ing to learn a lot about the world of the game and your whole sit­u­a­tion, but in re­al­i­ty it's just the true end­ing cut short, so you wouldn't re­al­ly have a rea­son to com­plete this route ei­ther, if it weren't for the fact that com­plet­ing this route is the re­quire­ment to un­lock Kanae.

Kanae: you did it bas­tard, you earned Kanae's route, you're go­ing to watch how he rapes and hurts his pure, kind child­hood friend, who he treat­ed as a fam­i­ly. My ex­pec­ta­tions: he's ei­ther go­ing to have a com­plete men­tal break­down be­cause of his ac­tions, or re­al­ize that there's no point in hid­ing his in­ner feel­ings any­more and goes all out. The re­al­i­ty? Well, you get 4 turns and 2 bonus games and one night of full vanil­la hand-hold­ing love­ly-dove­ly gen­tle sex (some­times not even sex). Why, why, what the fuck were you think­ing again, stu­pid au­thors?! Even Keisuke him­self com­ments mul­ti­ple times that he ex­pect­ed worse. A com­plete dis­ap­point­ment, con­sid­er­ing that at this point you've com­plet­ed Ne­mu's route, and you know that she's be­hind this game. It was sup­posed to be the most painful route in the game, where you won't be able to stop cry­ing for hours, come on! Sigh, so any­way, the on­ly thing here hap­pens is that the pair's sta­tus gets up­grad­ed from child­hood friends to lovers, and Kanae say­ing some light­ly dis­turb­ing things. Now, the fifth turn is some­what bru­tal, but they're such love­birds at this point, that it bare­ly mat­ters, an Kanae al­ready de­vel­oped some masochis­tic ten­den­cies by this time any­way. The sec­ond part of her route is the same as Ne­mu's one with some small vari­a­tions, one new scene if you make the cor­rect (or in­cor­rect, de­pend­ing on your view­point) choice. Oh, and that spe­cif­ic end­ing, called Brute end­ing if you see a walk­through. It's prob­a­bly my fa­vorite end­ing in the game. It's the end­ing where Keisuke fi­nal­ly grows a spine, so much that it al­most feels like he's act­ing out of char­ac­ter, and you'll have a quite sur­re­al end­ing. But it's al­so awe­some, where every bitch get what they de­serve. (Ab­solute­ly get this be­fore the true end­ing though.)

Then, I'll have to start a new para­graph, be­cause here comes the true end­ing, start­ing where Ne­mu's route end­ed. Un­til now, the game was just play­ing with you, now it shits on your plate and makes you eat it. Re­peat­ed­ly. Things will change. Things will nev­er be the same. Ex­pect some bru­tal twists in the sto­ry. Un­for­tu­nate­ly I don't know what can I write about this, this is where the sto­ry will start to make sense, you learn Rinne's and the teacher's back­ground, the world you live in, and more. The game has many flaws, but this one end­ing is enough for me to for­give most of it. Yes, it's that good (un­for­tu­nate­ly there's some pac­ing prob­lems at the very end of the route, oth­er­wise it's per­fect). This is what puts the crown on the game. The rest is just a very over­long ex­po­si­tion, how to tell "Ne­mu is an evil per­son" in about 30k lines. And yes, I've seen that the ac­tu­al end­ing is a bit po­lar­iz­ing here on VNDB, that it's a bit open-end­ed or cliffhang­er, but for me that just means it's open for in­ter­pre­ta­tion. And I like my in­ter­pre­ta­tion be­cause I'm an ego­ist bas­tard.


Graph­ics: don't ex­pect me to write a prop­er re­view of this, my artis­tic taste is non-ex­ist­ing. With that in mind I found no ap­par­ent prob­lems, it looks nice.

Mu­sic: same warn­ing, but I think the BGM fits the game, and it doesn't even get that bor­ing, de­spite you have 15 (most­ly short) tracks for a pret­ty long game.

And that's the game in a nut­shell. Yes, it has prob­lems, and the good parts are the parts that you don't even think they ex­ist based on the de­scrip­tion, the sto­ry drags on for too long in many cas­es, but it has a good sto­ry. Just make sure you clear what­ev­er mis­con­cep­tions you might have of the game in your head be­fore start­ing.

Un­cen­sor: the Eng­lish re­lease of the game is un­ce­sored, and a quick search yield­ed ze­ro re­sults, so I made my own un­cen­sor patch based on the Eng­lish re­lease. Un­for­tu­nate­ly, they al­so lo­cal­ized the CGs in two cas­es. One CG-set had no H con­tent so I left the Japan­ese ver­sion there, but the oth­er one had cen­sor­ing, so I re­placed it with the Eng­lish ver­sion... so there will be a tiny lit­tle bit of Eng­lish text in the game, if you ap­ply the patch. If you're in­ter­est­ed, writ­ings on Rin­nie's body.
It's avail­able as a HDiffPatch file, so down­load and com­pile it first, then get the un­cen­sor patch. You should be able to ap­ply it like this:

cd $path_to_euphoria_install
mv pac/cg.ypf pac/cg.ypf.orig
hpatchz pac/cg.ypf.orig $path_to/cg.hdiff pac/cg.ypf

Ex­tra chat­ter for lin­ux users: I played on wine, 7.3, 7.4 and 7.5 (yes, I'm that slow that they re­leased two new wine ver­sions while play­ing). Ex­cept video play­back, it works fine with­out any tweak­ing. To get a work­ing video play­back, I need­ed winetricks quartz ffdshow ddr=gdi and dis­abling my com­posit­ing man­ag­er (kil­lall comp­ton in my case) w/ nvidia GPU.

EDIT: Looks like I was wrong, TL;DR you need a wine with gstreamer and 32 bits gst-plugins-mpg123, gst-plugins-bad and maybe gst-plugins-mpeg2dec. You don't need ffmpeg or its met­ric fuck­tons of de­pen­den­cies. And this way you don't need quartz/ffdshow or ddr=gdi which fucks up the per­for­mance, and al­so works with com­posit­ig, hooray. (Fun fact, the open­ing movie us­es mp2 au­dio, while the end­ing movies use mp3. And both use mpeg1 video, like it's 1995.)

Any­way, this is what I added to /etc/portage/pack­age.use, pro­vid­ed there are oth­er peo­ple be­side me in­sane enough to use gen­too, might re­quire some ad­just­ments based on your glob­al use flags:

media-plugins/gst-plugins-meta -* X alsa mpeg mp3 abi_x86_32
media-libs/gstreamer -caps abi_x86_32
media-libs/gst-plugins-base abi_x86_32 -theora -vorbis
media-libs/gst-plugins-good abi_x86_32
dev-lang/orc abi_x86_32
media-libs/graphene abi_x86_32
media-libs/phonon -gstreamer
media-plugins/gst-plugins-mpeg2dec abi_x86_32
media-libs/libmpeg2 abi_x86_32
media-libs/gst-plugins-ugly abi_x86_32
media-libs/gst-plugins-bad abi_x86_32
media-plugins/gst-plugins-mpg123 abi_x86_32

For­tu­nate­ly gst is most­ly mod­u­lar, so you can man­u­al­ly in­stall oth­er mod­ules in pure 64-bit in­stead of de­pend­ing on the meta pack­age.